It’s our Anniversary! Well, not our official anniversary; on Oct 28th, 1998 WD asked me to be his girlfriend 19 years ago. He was in Holly Springs and I was in Oxford, he was falling for your girl. We were together and not married for so long that this was the only date we ever celebrated as our anniversary. The Irony is even during the few years apart, we still managed to go keep that date sacred. So after being married for 4 years it still seems like this day is still so special. Do you still celebrate your official courtship date?
In my opinion you cannot have an actual marriage anniversary date without at the very least acknowledging the day it all actually began. We were some clueless strangers on the ride of our lives and 19 years ago we had no idea what we would be today. He tells me that he never forgets the day I walked down the aisle to him. I never forget our first encounter; it was definitely classic “us”. Me with my attitude, and him being sweet, it could have gone very wrong, had he been any other man. He could have said- this is already too much trouble…and walked away. Instead he was sincere, sweet and charming…also very cute. Cute helps!
We had a crazy ride…this was 1998…we had to send letters, and buy calling cards, and sneak around dorms to see one another between Rust College and Ole Miss, only 30 minutes away but it could feel like 3 days when you are apart. This was likely the first test and all the rest seemed mediocre. It was definitely worth it back then, but because I get to spend every day with this awesome man, increases the return on our investment 10 fold.
WD is so nostalgic, I am usually rolling my eyes because I am always about the here and now and he is a memory guy. He loves pictures and trinkets, while I apparently think my memory is sufficient for keeping up with all the important events in my life. If I ever get Alzheimer’s, I might be screwed. On a recent trip to Chicago he found this picture of us from the summer of ‘99 (1 year in). It is crazy to see such physical change, maturity, and growth in us from then to now. I would tell my younger self the following;
- Stop comparing yourself to everyone else- every journey is different: Some of my friends were married and I was still trying to see why we weren’t; it was not time for us. I may have been perfectly fine with that, had I not been looking at someone else’s grass.
- Stop worrying about what friends and family think and do what makes you happy: These are the people you love and they love you, we will disappoint them and ourselves…oh well.
- Don’t try to change people, that is not your responsibility: Molding your partner to be what you want them to be should not be uncomfortable for the other person; it will happen overtime and they will enjoy the process. If they are right for you!
- Laugh allot, at yourself and others: Stop taking everything so seriously and enjoy the moment, while you are in it.
- Communicate your expectations, fears, and beliefs: If something is a deal breaker, then break the deal. All things can be fixed with a conversation-if that person deserves your time that is.
The moral of the story is if you never take a chance how will you know if it’s worth it? I say make lots of mistakes and move on-FAST. Embrace life…it is so precious. After 19 years, I definitely value my time with WD, because we made it to the aisle. I would maybe feel differently if we did not end up together, but I will never have to find out.
Couples UnCorked 
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